Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I have been in a state. In a mood. Very contemplative. Analyzing my fairly unhappy professional life. Decision: It's time to make a change.

Thus, I will be enrolling in summer school. I will be taking classes in Photography and Photoshop in hopes of getting a hobby business going...which will hopefully someday turn into a lifestyle supporting business. Because basically...I can't take this anymore.

So, Goal #1: Get through wedding in April.

Goal #2: Recover from wedding in April.

Goal #3: Be in night classes by May.

The thought has even gone through my head to get a not-so-demanding job so that I can take some day classes, but I have not committed to that as of yet.

So wish me luck. I am 100% committed to this plan. Somethings gotta give, and obviously I am going to have to make it happen.

Resolutions Done Right

Today is the last day of 2007. I bet you think I am getting ready to party up tonight. Think again. I am at work (of course) until 5 (because who would push the pencils if I didn't show up?).

Then I am heading home, making a pot of chili because it is butt-cold today, playing some Wii, drinking some beer, watching the ball drop, kissing my fiance and going to bed. We couldn't even find any friends that didn't already have plans to come over. Losers.

But I digress...

The real reason I am posting today is because it is that time of year to make the all important and all dreaded new years resolution. Gag.

I do have to make the standard I will lose 15 lbs by April resolution, but only because I have to get my fat ass in a wedding dress by the 19th. Double Gag.

Other than that, my resolution is not to better myself in any way, because I am pretty happy with me, and the man I love is happy with me, so screw the rest of them. I resolve to better my ENVIRONMENT. No, I am not buying an electric car and installing solar panels (as you have to be rich to do those kinds of things).

I plan on ridding myself of all things that cause me stress which then leads to me having pimples and cold sores...and this is not acceptable.

First, I am campaigning for a raise. I am tired of being charge the $31 overdraft fee that my bank feels the need to charge me 50 times a month (don't they know I am good for it?). Rumor has it we are all getting reviewed in January this year, so I am getting my arsenal prepared consisting of all the reasons that I rock and deserve to make an above the poverty level salary. This one also has subresolutions like getting out of debt, refinancing the house, etc.

Second, I am determined to find a cleaner that actually works on my 100 year old (not lying...I have a really old house) hardwood floors. I am sick of them looking 100 years old. I know they have more potential than that. I blame the dogs for the all the time dingy look.

Third, I am resolving to get a new bedroom suit. I will kill Josh if we continue to sleep in the full size bed that I have had since I was in 5th grade. Not kidding...all 130lbs of him takes up 3/4 of it. This might be ok if I weighed 130lbs, but that hasn't happened since 9th grade and I am not holding my breath that it will any time soon (I love chocolate too much).

Thats it. I don't think I am overshooting. These are definitely feasible. I am resolving to be optimistic about them (damn it...thats another resolution to keep up with).

So, happy new years to all! 2008 is sure to be great...and yes, that was my best Dr. Seuss impression.

Graduation Contemplation

Its been an interesting day. I went to my best friend's college graduation. It is extremely hard for me to believe that I have been out for 2 years now. So much has happened since then. I got a real job (no more retail....WOOHOO....no more overtime....BOOOO!), bought a house (hence me being broke....but being out of my parent's house is priceless), got engaged (GULP!), got 2 more dogs (besides the 1 I already had), got a cat (despite the fiance's objections....I know he loves him deep down).

It has just been one of those days that makes me wonder where I will be in another 2 years. Will I have a kid? (Double GULP!) Will I have another job? Will I be making more money? (I hope so, because my only other choice is living in a cardboard box.) Will I finally be able to beat my fiance (who will then be my husband) at Wii Tennis? (Doubtful).

Ok...snapping out of it...and back to trying to learn how to use Photoshop Elements before my free trial runs out.

A Math Equasion I Didn't Learn in School

Friday Night + 4 glasses of Chardonnay + 2 Michelob Ultras + 7 (that I remember) Coors Lights + 1 Redneck Bowling Alley + 2 Cigarettes (keep in mind I have never smoked before in my life...I know...I'm a prude) + 2 Songs Karaoked (Thunder Rolls & Wild Nights...I've been told...) = Puking from 8am to Noon and sleeping 'til 4pm on Saturday.

Also know as "I'm a Total Idiot's Theorem".

In other news,

Today is the 1 year anniversary of us receiving our Christmas bonuses. They have not made the announcement for us to come to the conference room for a "short staff meeting" yet and it is 4:06pm. So apparently I did not have a reason to get out of bed after all.

Also, I have a buddy who was selected to be on the Christmas party planning committee and she keeps me in the loop. The partners just let them know that our company is too big now to have free booze at company functions as we are too much of a liability. Lord knows they don't pay me enough for me to go to the cash bar at our "family style" dinner being held at the brewery across the street from our office. Dang the coworkers that drove off drunk at our last work sponsored soiree! I am lucky to have a fiance that cares enough to come pick my drunk ass up. He would have given them a ride too! Jeez!

I wonder how much weight I would lose if I stopped drinking. I do, after all, have a dress I have to squeeze into come April...

Ho Ho Dough

In light of my new financial situation (or lack thereof) I have been trying to come up with creative ways to fulfill my Christmas gift list. In other words, I have been trying to get something for nothing for all my friends and family (well, unless they were lucky enough for me to buy their gift before American Express cut me off).

Where, you might ask, can you go to get something for nothing (or very, VERY little)? Goodwill? Heavens no. Dollar General? Good gracious, do I look like a cheapskate? (Don't answer that). Dumpster out back? No need to be a smartass.

The answer to all of my yuletide gift-giving woe can be summed up in 4 little letters: EBAY.

Let me know what you think.

For Dad:

What every golfer needs...Monkey Head Golf Club Covers...for a steal at only $.99!

For Mom:
The 'Pocket Mom' that says such phrases as "THE ANSWER IS NO!" "STOP IT!" "YOU'RE GOING TO POKE SOMEONE'S EYE OUT WITH THAT THING!" etc. Payback's a bitch...and a bargain at $1.99!

For Uncle Sam (yes, I actually have an Uncle Sam):

3 cans of Super Fart Spray. Uncle Sam is the practical joker of the family. I would love to see him spray this at Christmas dinner. So says the Ebay ad "You are bidding on 3, thats right, you get 3 Super Odorific Fart Spray In a Can! Spray Near Your Friends and Watch the Fun! Hilarious for Practical Jokers! Produces a Lingering Very Unpleasant Smell!" I'd say thats a steal at $.99 for all 3 cans. (And I think I am in love with the word 'odorific').

Last but not least...

For my fiance:
Stud undies! An ego boost for only $4.99? Not a bad deal if you ask me!