A Math Equasion I Didn't Learn in School

Friday Night + 4 glasses of Chardonnay + 2 Michelob Ultras + 7 (that I remember) Coors Lights + 1 Redneck Bowling Alley + 2 Cigarettes (keep in mind I have never smoked before in my life...I know...I'm a prude) + 2 Songs Karaoked (Thunder Rolls & Wild Nights...I've been told...) = Puking from 8am to Noon and sleeping 'til 4pm on Saturday.

Also know as "I'm a Total Idiot's Theorem".

In other news,

Today is the 1 year anniversary of us receiving our Christmas bonuses. They have not made the announcement for us to come to the conference room for a "short staff meeting" yet and it is 4:06pm. So apparently I did not have a reason to get out of bed after all.

Also, I have a buddy who was selected to be on the Christmas party planning committee and she keeps me in the loop. The partners just let them know that our company is too big now to have free booze at company functions as we are too much of a liability. Lord knows they don't pay me enough for me to go to the cash bar at our "family style" dinner being held at the brewery across the street from our office. Dang the coworkers that drove off drunk at our last work sponsored soiree! I am lucky to have a fiance that cares enough to come pick my drunk ass up. He would have given them a ride too! Jeez!

I wonder how much weight I would lose if I stopped drinking. I do, after all, have a dress I have to squeeze into come April...

Focus THIS!

I swore to myself that this blog would not become all about me whining about work (but I guess I should have named it something else...The Fabulous Life of Me would be nice...but untrue), but after today I cannot help but post a few observations about my current employment situation.

So I get a meeting request on Monday from the girl who runs our focus groups. She says that I have been chosen to participate in a focus group that deals with how we view our jobs, our morale, etc.

Well the big focus group was today. Someone from each of the 6 departments has been chosen to join in. We were told that our responses to the questions would be written down anonymously and then would be presented the president, partners & managers of our company. Uh-huh.

So we get the obligatory 'What do you like about working here?' question. Everyone chimes in all at once: "Insurance!" "Paid holidays!" "Gym membership!" "Free parking!" Ok people...who doesn't like benefits?

But then she started in on the 'What don't you like about...' questions. Please tell me why everyone else got all 'Well I don't blame them for doing it this way or that way' etc. They might as well have flashed their I Heart My Job tattoos.

Then there is Negative Nelly sitting there (i.e. me) who was being HONEST. I don't like the way that my manager manages, and I let them know. I don't like the way our yearly reviews are held, and I let them know. I don't like the way that we are spread too thin, and I let them know. I don't like the way that my personal time off is invaded with pointless phone calls from my supervisor, and I let them know.

My conclusion from this meeting: everyone else in there HAS to make way more money than me. I would be a helluva lot happier to do my job if I were doing it for at least $10k more a year.



P.S. I swear to get around to being much more inspiring and thought-provoking sometime in the near future. I just need to get out of my job-related funk.

My Big Huge Spectacular Glorious First Blog

I know...the title builds you up A LOT. I hope that I can deliver...

Well I have decided to enter into the anonymous world of blogging. Anonymous being a big part of it as I have heard horror stories of people getting fired, dumped, bankrupted, etc. from the stuff that they post in their blogs. I hope to avoid the first of those 2 things (as I am on the verge of bankruptcy despite have a job and a fiance...and I know the fiance isn't going anywhere), unless someone decides to start paying me to write this blog which I would welcome with loving arms. So until that glorious day comes, I am going to remain in the shadows and speak my mind fully.

So this is my little corner of the internet where I plan to spill my guts on hopefully a regular basis. I plan on divulging on my personal life, what I am doing, boring shit, exciting shit, movies I've seen, places I go, people I meet, etcetera etcetera etcetera (who really types out etcetera? I'm such a geek.)

As you probably gathered from the title of my blog, I am a peon at a company in a fairly large city. I have been here for 2 years sitting in my cube. Well, technically, it's only half a cube, which makes it that much sadder. I was one of the last people hired to actually get a cube (1/2 cube) but I guess it is better than sitting in the middle of the hallways with the interns. Perish the thought. So for now I guess I am content (HA!) with my 2 cube walls, desk with no drawers, and filing cabinet. At least I have the Internet...

My basic title here (but they were nice enough to not put this on my business cards) is Pencil Pusher. Triple P. Pencil Pusher Peon. It's a GLORIOUS stage of my professional life! (I also seriously need to stop saying 'glorious' so much.) I am responsible for millions of dollars of client's money on a monthly basis...if only they could see my bank account. (Well maybe I should show them my bank account...they might take pity and give me a small handout of that millions of dollars...)

All of this incredibly valuable information led me to start this blog. I, like many bloggers, am an aspiring writer. Actually I am an aspiring anything-but-this. I don't care what it is. I would love to do anything the gives me a creative outlet...and possibly let me sleep later than 6am. Or even work from home! (Ooo I like that thought!) My dogs would really appreciate that...

So that's it for now...my grand intro. I must get back to pushing my pencils, otherwise the world will explode. Next time I will try to be a little more insightful, informative, and all around more interesting.

Chow!