Sweet Dreams are Made of This

I have been dreaming very vividly for about a month now. Before then I rarely ever remembered my dreams, and when I did, they NEVER made any sense. Picture unicorns holding conversations with chipmunks while they swim in a rainbow colored river of marshmallows. That is the kind of dreams I used to have.

Until now.

Most of my dreams pertain to my impending wedding. Mostly panic dreams. Like in one I forgot to buy him a ring. In the other all the flowers were late getting there and when they finally showed up all they brought was light up Christmas garland. WTF?

However, there is one dream that has me perplexed.

A little background: about a month before I started dating my fiance 4 years ago I broke up with my high school sweetheart. It was a very tough breakup because:

• We had been together 5 1/2 years
• I was the one that ended it (making me the bad guy)
• I ended it via AOL Instant Messenger (making me the bad guy)
• I continued to sleep with him for a couple of weeks after we broke up (making me the bad guy)
• It was right after Christmas when I did it which made me look like I just held out long enough for the presents (making me the bad guy)
• He dropped out of college and moved back in with his parents due to his devistation (making me the bad guy)

So needless to say my ex and I have not been BFF since then. We RARELY speak, and aside from Facebook stalking him about once a year to see if he is still with his new girlfriend, I NEVER think about him.

About 2 weeks ago I had this really intense dream where my ex was back in my life and we were all chummy again. He was begging me not to marry my fiance and to get back with him. When I declined he then pleaded for me to sleep with him one last time, and I DID! (EWWWW!) Of course, I woke up totally icked out and thanking God that it was just a dream.

No lie, THE SAME DAY, the ex emails me for the 1st time in 6 months just to tell me that he and his girlfriend have broken up. How weird is that? I'm not a huge believer in psychics and such, but is it possible to have some weird ESP connection to someone that you were once in an intense relationship with? It just continued to ick me out and it has obviously stuck with me as I am blogging about it a good 2 weeks later.

On a better note, my fiance and I bought our bedroom suit for when he moves in! Woohoo! So at least this way, if I continue to have weird dreams post-holy matrimony, at least he will be next to me in our brand spankin' new queen with pillow-top tempurpedic. :-)

So what do you think? I think it will be fab in our little house. The wood matches my original hardwood floors.

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I have been in a state. In a mood. Very contemplative. Analyzing my fairly unhappy professional life. Decision: It's time to make a change.

Thus, I will be enrolling in summer school. I will be taking classes in Photography and Photoshop in hopes of getting a hobby business going...which will hopefully someday turn into a lifestyle supporting business. Because basically...I can't take this anymore.

So, Goal #1: Get through wedding in April.

Goal #2: Recover from wedding in April.

Goal #3: Be in night classes by May.

The thought has even gone through my head to get a not-so-demanding job so that I can take some day classes, but I have not committed to that as of yet.

So wish me luck. I am 100% committed to this plan. Somethings gotta give, and obviously I am going to have to make it happen.

Resolutions Done Right

Today is the last day of 2007. I bet you think I am getting ready to party up tonight. Think again. I am at work (of course) until 5 (because who would push the pencils if I didn't show up?).

Then I am heading home, making a pot of chili because it is butt-cold today, playing some Wii, drinking some beer, watching the ball drop, kissing my fiance and going to bed. We couldn't even find any friends that didn't already have plans to come over. Losers.

But I digress...

The real reason I am posting today is because it is that time of year to make the all important and all dreaded new years resolution. Gag.

I do have to make the standard I will lose 15 lbs by April resolution, but only because I have to get my fat ass in a wedding dress by the 19th. Double Gag.

Other than that, my resolution is not to better myself in any way, because I am pretty happy with me, and the man I love is happy with me, so screw the rest of them. I resolve to better my ENVIRONMENT. No, I am not buying an electric car and installing solar panels (as you have to be rich to do those kinds of things).

I plan on ridding myself of all things that cause me stress which then leads to me having pimples and cold sores...and this is not acceptable.

First, I am campaigning for a raise. I am tired of being charge the $31 overdraft fee that my bank feels the need to charge me 50 times a month (don't they know I am good for it?). Rumor has it we are all getting reviewed in January this year, so I am getting my arsenal prepared consisting of all the reasons that I rock and deserve to make an above the poverty level salary. This one also has subresolutions like getting out of debt, refinancing the house, etc.

Second, I am determined to find a cleaner that actually works on my 100 year old (not lying...I have a really old house) hardwood floors. I am sick of them looking 100 years old. I know they have more potential than that. I blame the dogs for the all the time dingy look.

Third, I am resolving to get a new bedroom suit. I will kill Josh if we continue to sleep in the full size bed that I have had since I was in 5th grade. Not kidding...all 130lbs of him takes up 3/4 of it. This might be ok if I weighed 130lbs, but that hasn't happened since 9th grade and I am not holding my breath that it will any time soon (I love chocolate too much).

Thats it. I don't think I am overshooting. These are definitely feasible. I am resolving to be optimistic about them (damn it...thats another resolution to keep up with).

So, happy new years to all! 2008 is sure to be great...and yes, that was my best Dr. Seuss impression.

Graduation Contemplation

Its been an interesting day. I went to my best friend's college graduation. It is extremely hard for me to believe that I have been out for 2 years now. So much has happened since then. I got a real job (no more retail....WOOHOO....no more overtime....BOOOO!), bought a house (hence me being broke....but being out of my parent's house is priceless), got engaged (GULP!), got 2 more dogs (besides the 1 I already had), got a cat (despite the fiance's objections....I know he loves him deep down).

It has just been one of those days that makes me wonder where I will be in another 2 years. Will I have a kid? (Double GULP!) Will I have another job? Will I be making more money? (I hope so, because my only other choice is living in a cardboard box.) Will I finally be able to beat my fiance (who will then be my husband) at Wii Tennis? (Doubtful).

Ok...snapping out of it...and back to trying to learn how to use Photoshop Elements before my free trial runs out.

A Math Equasion I Didn't Learn in School

Friday Night + 4 glasses of Chardonnay + 2 Michelob Ultras + 7 (that I remember) Coors Lights + 1 Redneck Bowling Alley + 2 Cigarettes (keep in mind I have never smoked before in my life...I know...I'm a prude) + 2 Songs Karaoked (Thunder Rolls & Wild Nights...I've been told...) = Puking from 8am to Noon and sleeping 'til 4pm on Saturday.

Also know as "I'm a Total Idiot's Theorem".

In other news,

Today is the 1 year anniversary of us receiving our Christmas bonuses. They have not made the announcement for us to come to the conference room for a "short staff meeting" yet and it is 4:06pm. So apparently I did not have a reason to get out of bed after all.

Also, I have a buddy who was selected to be on the Christmas party planning committee and she keeps me in the loop. The partners just let them know that our company is too big now to have free booze at company functions as we are too much of a liability. Lord knows they don't pay me enough for me to go to the cash bar at our "family style" dinner being held at the brewery across the street from our office. Dang the coworkers that drove off drunk at our last work sponsored soiree! I am lucky to have a fiance that cares enough to come pick my drunk ass up. He would have given them a ride too! Jeez!

I wonder how much weight I would lose if I stopped drinking. I do, after all, have a dress I have to squeeze into come April...